Confidence and comparison

I want to talk about the elusive nature of confidence. How can we feel so good and sure one day and so deflated and miserable the next? Does this happen to any of you? I’ve been flying high since starting this blog thinking I’m FINALLY doing what I’ve longed to do for so many years. I’m finally starting to pursue my creative dreams and do what makes me happy. For a couple of weeks, I’ve been living in the present, dreaming up fun and adorable knit designs, starting to work on documenting my knit patterns, and in general getting in my own creative mode. But I’ve also been looking online A LOT. I’ve been doing this for hours without realizing a minute has gone by. I’ve been looking at blogs, listening to podcasts, thinking about where I want to go with my work.

So . . . as most of you who surf and blog and follow blogs and link and link endlessly know — some days it can be unbelievably inspiring (Look what’s possible!) and other days overwhelming (Does it ever end? Is there ever not one more person starting to follow their dreams and get their art/design/craft out there? How can I succeed when there are so many people wanting to do the same thing? Will I ever catch up?) This photo of my kiddos on the sand dunes made me think of that heavy feeling — the one you get when you see what a long way you have to go. The frustration you feel when it is hard to make headway. And how, sometimes, all you can think about is how far ahead someone else is of you.

Then, just when I needed it the most, I came across this podcast by Marisa Haedike at Creative Thursday on Comparison. Thank you Marisa for your wise words! We are all on different paths and there are many ways for us to get where we want to go. There is abundance out there. There is room for us all to pursue our dreams and support each other. This is a wide, wide world. And, then I find that today is one of those good days – one of those days where it doesn’t seem to matter what anyone else is doing. I am doing what I love and it makes me happy to do this work. If I keep going in this groove, I’m confident (see! its back again!) the rest will fall into place around me just the way it’s meant to do (but probably not the way I expect it to, which is another topic altogether).

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