Exposing Myself

I just announced this blog to my family and long-time friends –a very interesting exercise. I’ve been blogging since December 2010 and it started to dawn on me that most of the people who know me best or the longest had no idea what I was up to. To let friends and family in on my endeavor was surprisingly scary and something to which I was extraordinarily resistant. With all this trepidation, I had to ask myself, why? Was it just a question putting myself out there? But, I do it everyday on this blog and don’t think twice about it.

I’ve been pondering this seriously for the last few days, I think it comes down to the fact that for many years I haven’t shown the real me. I mean yes, I’m a wear-it-on-your-sleeve emotional being, so people know my personality very well. But to know that I take craft, making, knitting and design so seriously – my longtime friends had no idea.

So why don’t my friends and family know this is so important to me? I think it comes from my fear that it may not be important to them. I’m afraid that people will find my work trivial and domestic – wondering why I would waste my talents doing that. But, I realize, they won’t know how this work satisfies and inspires me if I’ve never told them. The truth is I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished – I should share it.

This conflict returns to the BIG ISSUE about how we value handmade and making things in our society. I talked about this in my original post. In my life, it became so vital to do the things that would make me appear “successful” to others. But, how do we authentically claim success? Mustn’t it be motivated from within each individual? I feel more successful now than ever before because I take the time to do what I love. It gives me that glow inside and the feeling that I’ve come home to myself. At the same time, people do appreciate and celebrate it, including positive and loving responses from those very same friends and family I was so afraid to tell. The sky’s the limit . . .